That Thing Called Happiness

"It's a helluva start, being able to recognize what makes you happy"
-Lucille Ball

Happiness has been on my mind a lot. Like any right minded person, it's what I want. Badly. Now and always.


Sometimes life gets complicated, usually through my own accord subconsciously, and sometimes through no control of my own, and I forget what makes me happy. Or how to achieve it. Or believing that it can be mine. And in my despair there are a lot of people in the world who want to tell me how to be happy. Those people who say such things are for the most part genuinely sincere, and usually come from personal experience or intelligence.


I admire anyone who attempts to try and listen to all the people who tell them such things. From my own experience I think a lot of sad and depressed people in the world are such a way because they're trying to make room to give heed to what everyone tells them to do. We tend to call these type of people people pleasers. I Bryan Clark, on many occasion (and I'm sure many more in my lifetime) have been known to be a people pleaser. It's in my nature. I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing, ALL the time.


And I've heard a lot of what people say in regards to people pleasers who struggle with their own happiness:

"Live life for yourself!". 

"Do what makes you happy!" 

"Let it go". 

"Put yourself first"

"Don't worry about what other people think!"

"Just be happy"

And on they go.


And all those statements and people making them are right. i agree 100%. If only it were so easy for people pleasers to believe it all the time. There's a reason we try to please others. Whether it's a right or wrong way to do it, it's because we wish to show love to the person(s) we are pleasing. Any attempt to show love is a good thing in my book.


I spoke about being in a funk a couple of weeks ago, post same sex marriage legalization in Utah. Well that funk has been more like a month long funk. And I'm tired of it. I don't like feeling miserable, or confused or lost. And yet it happens, and I've been there for awhile now. I own that fact.


And I'm working on it.


So in attempt to try and help myself just "Be happy", I came up with a list of things I think help me feel that way (In no meaningful order), that I plan on incorporating much more into my life:

1. Derek. Well he's really pretty much already stuck with me, and for some crazy reason (he says love) he wants to stay.

2. Dancing in my underwear. Yes. In all sincerity, this thought makes me smile everytime. Saturday morning, there's no pressure on for the day, and what do you do but blare some T. Swift and dance with your dog in your undies. Ahh yes. I like this thought a lot.

3.Entertaining. Derek and I have greatly missed not having our own place. We like to throw parties. Usually around food. And we miss it. Soon enough. 

4. Laughing at myself. Yes, laughing at myself and not taking everything so seriously all the time makes me happy.

5. Running, hard. I love to just sprint as hard as I can on my runs and spread my arms out, as if I'm about to fly. It makes me feel empowered. 

6. Working out. <This includes having/maintaining a big chest and 6 pack abs. I find a man's physique to be beautiful (obviously) and I like feeling apart of that beauty. 

7. Dressing well. Ah yes. There's nothing like sprucing yourself up and looking good to make me feel happy and refined. It's classy I think. I acknowledge it's comfortable to be in gym shorts and t shirts all the time. But there's a class and sophistication I admire to the thoughtful dresser.

8. Making people laugh. I usually do this by making fun of myself (in a non self critical way). Or being random/awkward. Yes, I like those laughs. Or acting out random voices with people.

9. Doing sporadic, spontaneous things. Yes, this brings me exhilaration. There's nothing quite like leaving behind the plans and just living in the moment.

10. Working hard. Pretty self explanatory. I want to feel accomplished in my education, career, community and personal relationships with others.

11. These smiles: